Today on The Blissful Parenting Podcast we’ll be sitting down with Chuck Anderson to talk about what he likes to refer to as the “Four Hidden Agendas” when it comes to our child’s behaviours. We will be discussing the reasons behind our children’s bad behaviours and learn how we can go about handling them without losing our cool.
Michelle Abraham: Welcome to the Blissful Parenting Podcast. I’m Michelle Abraham, and today I’m here with Chuck Anderson, and we are talking about the four hidden agendas method for dealing with difficult, and disrespectful behavior. Chuck is a father of three energetic boys that range from school age to teenager. He’s been teaching parent education workshops for the past eight years. He’s a regular guest speaker at schools, events, and conferences. He’s worked with nearly 10,000 parents worldwide through classes, workshops, and coaching. Welcome to the show today Chuck. We’re so happy to have you here.
Chuck: Thanks Michelle. It’s a pleasure to be here.
Michelle: Awesome, I have a picture up right now of you and a whole bunch of people, and it’s showing you as your mission to serve a million parents to live a happier, and more fulfilling life. So can you tell us a little bit about that?
Chuck: Yes,, absolutely. You know, it’s my mission through this work, and through Blissful Parenting to really be that lifeline to parents who are struggling every day with getting their children to behave appropriately, getting them to listen, getting them to contribute, and avoid all the conflicts. Everyday we just see parents out there that need that kind of help.
You can spot a parent very quickly where the toolbox has run dry. There’s not a lot of hope in dealing with the child’s behavior, and you can just see the desperation. So it’s my mission through this work, and through The Blissful Parenting organization that we will serve a million parents to help them live happier, and more fulfilling lives, and to really have a blissful, incredible relationships with their children, their partner, and of course themselves.
We really do feel that that’s a package deal, and we really just want to be that caring voice, and that lifeline for parents who are really out there struggling.
Michelle: What an amazing mission. I love your package deal, the parents, the relationship, and themselves. And it’s such a unique package that I think a lot of people don’t really think about that. You need all three really to make everything work, don’t you?
Chuck: Absolutely, it’s not just the kids, there’s so much more to it. In parenting there is so much emphasis on the children. But there’s these other relationships as well. Primarily with your partner, the person you had children with, and then yourself. In our organization, we have a lot of moms especially, who put themselves last. Taking care of themselves is the very last thing they do. They tirelessly spend time taking care of everyone else.
This is a package deal, and we want you to have great relationships with your children, a great, and powerful, empowering relationship with your partner, and a really special, and fulfilling relationship with yourself.
Michelle: That sounds great. I love that you have put it all together like that. What I’d love to know is how did this all start for you? It’s evolved over the last eight years of you doing lots of coaching, and speaking and lots of events, and programs for parents, how did it all begin for you?
Chuck: This journey all started for me when my first child was around five years old, and we were just moving out of that sort of happy toddler stage. The one you know where everything is so special, and so sweet. The one where all their firsts, happen. And then as they transition from toddler age into the five-year-old, and then onto teenage years, they develop ways of getting what they want. And sometimes those ways are very positive, and sometimes they’re not.
I found myself really challenged as a parent, and not only as a parent, but as a human being, really challenged with my own emotional responses. I would get angry in places where I didn’t really consider myself to be an angry person. I found myself getting angry, and frustrated, you know, and speaking to my child, who I love very, very much in a way that, just really felt horrible. All in the name of getting them to behave, or to teach them the proper way to do things, have manners, to listen, and do chores. It just didn’t make any sense to me, after a while, the best thing I could come up with to get them to behave better is to make them feel worse. It felt horrible.
I knew that that wasn’t going to work long term. My wife and I had lots of conversations about it, and so I joined a local support group just to kind of talk with other parents who were going through the same things. One thing led to another, through that organization, and I ended up getting trained as a parenting educator, teaching positive behavior management skills, and then also running that support group for a few years. I now get invited back from this organization to train new support group leaders.
So it started off just as this problem that I was having with dealing with my five-year-old, who is now a teenager. We’re dealing with all that that encompasses. But I’m so glad that it did start that, because it gives me that new found confidence that look, even in a stressful situation, I’m going to be able to remain calm and not to do anything from anger that could potentially make the problem worse.
Michelle: Wow, that’s so great, Chuck. I’m so glad that we’re connecting now, because I’m just on the cusp of having a four year old, and everything is peachy, peachy happy now. But I can see that on the horizon, and you can see how parents, when they’re tired, they just don’t know any other way to talk to their children. I can see how the anchor can come out so easily. I’ve seen it in myself, and my husband, and even friends. It’s so nice to have you as an expert, leading the way in this, because you’ve been through it. Now you’ve learned some tools that you’re gonna be able to share with us today. I’m so excited to hear what you have to say.
So our promise today in this interview is Chuck is going to teach us the three step roadmap, how to deal with challenging behavior, and how to use simple methods that don’t take a lot of time to learn, and also work really critically. We’re also going to learn how to be effective at getting our child to listen, be well-behaved, and treat us with respect. While learning about effective alternatives to spanking, and other fear-based punishments so that you can feel more in control of your own behavior.
Chuck as you mentioned, you’re going to add some more tools to our parenting toolbox that are both positive, and effective. So I’m so excited to hear what you have to share with us. So can you please tell us a little bit about the three step roadmap?
Chuck: Absolutely. So there’s a three step roadmap that we take people through that does a couple of things. Number one is it starts to develop our awareness of what’s really going on. We’re not always aware of things that make it worse. When we’re in it, trying to see another way to make it better is not always going to be clear.
The first step is to really understand from an unawareness point of view, the three reasons why bad behavior actually happens, what makes it worse, and what we can do about it to get things turned around. Then once we have that awareness, building upon that, we’re going to look at the four hidden agendas method for dealing with difficult, and disrespectful behavior. This deals with the idea that there’s really only four reasons why children seem to be misbehaving, and we don’t need to become masters of thousands of different behavior challenges. We only need to get good at mastering the four reasons why behavior happens, and then respond appropriately to that.
Once we really understand those agendas, we can move into five simple steps for solving any parenting problem, even the ones that seem unsolvable, because armed with four hidden agendas, you are going to be able to get to the real reason why the behavior is actually happening.
Michelle: That sounds amazing. This is like the perfect recipe for parents. I love it. So can you tell us a little bit about bad behavior and, and you know, it seems complicated, and I’m surprised, I was surprised to hear that there were only four hidden agendas that come from bad behaviors. So can you speak a little bit, to that?
Chuck: The thing about bad behavior is that it’s not really complicated, and sometimes what we do makes it more complicated than it actually is. We need to start to look for solutions that do not involve using fear to frighten the child into compliance, and ultimately becoming afraid of you. When they become afraid of you, it can actually make things worse. So we want to avoid things that are going to make things worse and do not address the need. This is going to help us to move forward without having to yell, and bribe, take things away, put them in time outs, or threaten their video game time.
I think a big thing, and this really comes out from the conversations I have with parents at the workshops, and that is worrying about who your child is going to become in the future. Ultimately what we’re doing here is shaping new adults. They’re going to become adults at some point. And the question is what kind of adults are they going to be?
Michelle: It’s interesting, and I liked that you’re going to give us some alternatives to like the bribing, yelling, or taking things away. Because it doesn’t work, and it does make things worse.
Chuck: When we bribe, and we yell, and we take things away, it’s a shortcut. It’s a sign that the toolbox is not full, and we need to learn some better ways to get the behavior turned around.
Michelle: I think that it’s interesting, because I’m a new parent, and I didn’t even realize that there were tools, and toolboxes. It’s great to know that there is some help, and some resources available. It makes me curious as to why, you know, your step one is the three reasons why bad behavior gets worse. Is it that because we are trying to control the behavior by, bribing, or yelling, is that making it worse in the long run then?
Chuck: When we bribe, and we yell, it actually does make things worse, because it is not addressing the real reason behind the behavior. When we use those kinds of methods, we’re kind of trying to use fear to scare our child into complying with whatever we’re asking them to do.
There’s three reasons why bad behavior gets worse. And so we’re going to talk a little bit about that just from an awareness point of view so that we can start to notice when this happens. When we notice when it happens, we can start to do something about it.
Reason number one is that so much of parenting, and discipline is done as a reaction at a time when we are not calm. So reason number one is that we’re dealing with things without taking time to calm ourselves down, calm the situation down, and calm the child down. The reason why behavior, and really any type of problem is so difficult to deal with when we’re upset is because when we are emotional, when we’re angry, when we are having that emotional reaction, something happens in our brain that temporarily disconnects us from being able to deal with emotions, and to solve problems creatively. It’s the part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex. And when we’re angry, it exposes your fight, flight, or freeze response. In that moment you are completely incapable of rational thought.
Chuck: Sometimes it’s done in the name of being very short on time. And other times it’s being done simply because it’s inconvenient, or their behavior that they’re doing is making you feel angry. One of the shortcuts we kind of do unconsciously is to use fear to get them to comply. Of course, anyone who’s yelled at their child knows that, that never works. It always makes things worse. Instead of reacting, we need to take that time to calm down. When we do that, we’re going to be able to rationally figure out what is really going on, and what to do about it.
That leads us to reason number two of why behavior problems just seem to be so ongoing. We do not take the time to understand the real reason. We call it a hidden agenda, why the behavior is happening. This is something that I really, really noticed. If my child wasn’t going to bed, I mean, how many of you have ever noticed that when you ask your children to go to bed, they suddenly have more energy at bedtime than they did all day?
Michelle: Oh, that’s true, yes.
Chuck: Absolutely, or you want them to eat the meal and you know, it’s one of their favorites. They’ve eaten it, you know, a hundred times, but on that particular day they’re refusing to eat or, or they’re going on their fourth hour of video game time today, and refusing to get off the computer, whatever that is, it’s not the behavior. This is something that I didn’t really understand at first, but I certainly do now. That is, it’s not the behavior, and it renders almost every book, every sort of method, kind of useless, because it’s not about the behavior. It’s about the reason for the behavior.
We call it a hidden agenda, and what a hidden agenda really is, it’s an unfulfilled need. It’s not about the behavior, it’s about a need that your child has. So you’ve got to figure out what is the need, and there’s only four. It’s either they need attention, or it could be power. It could be revenge. They feel hurt, and they are just lashing out in a way that is kind of an indicator that they’re hurting inside, and they’re in need of some healing. Or it could be inadequacy. They’re just for whatever reason, physically, emotionally, whatever, not feeling up to the task in that moment, and nothing, no amount of forcing them is going to get them through that. In fact, it would just send them deeper. And so there’s four.
Now, when we are guessing at how we’re gonna deal with behavior, you only have a 25% chance of guessing it right. And you do get it right sometimes and you walk away from that situation going, nailed it, right? And then the next time that same behavior happens, this time happens for a different reason. Your memory says, ah, last time I did this, you do that, and this time instead of it working, it blows up in your face. Why? Because it’s a different hidden agenda. So when we’re winging it, we only have a 25% chance of guessing it, right? But we have a 75% chance of guessing wrong, and making the behavior worse. So we need to learn what these hidden agendas are, and the correct response to them.
Michelle: Wow, that’s interesting. And I know you’re going to get more into the hidden agendas a little bit later on in our talk. Did you come up with those four hidden agendas, or is that something that you’ve learned somewhere?
Chuck: The way we came up with the hidden agendas method is really a compilation of everything that I read, and experienced, numerous trainings, numerous video programs, numerous workshops, numerous books. Some of them dating all the way back to the 1800s. Just taking the best of everything, and compiling it together. So I can’t really take credit for inventing the methods, but what I did do, and what our team did was put it together in a way that makes it simple to identify what the real reason is, and then to kind of laser target towards the correct response that’s going to meet that need, or that hidden agenda.
Michelle: That’s great. It makes it easier to understand the reasonings why your children are behaving badly. And so we’ve gotten through the first couple of reasons as to why we have the bad behavior. Is there a third reason as to why there is bad behavior in the first place?
Chuck: The third reason why behavior seems to get worse is, we’re simply reacting to the behavior, rather than preparing proactive solutions that actually prevent it from happening in the first place. You’ve heard the expression no news is good news. Well that’s not always true when it comes to parenting. So they’re not misbehaving in this moment, therefore there’s nothing for me to do. But it’s kind of like a pro athlete. You know, they spend their time preparing for the big game. They’re practicing, they’re learning and sharpening their skills. As parents we don’t often take the time to do that. So we often get caught by surprise with a behavior challenge that we’ve never seen before, or we were completely unprepared for dealing with.
One of the things we can do, now for everyone who just said, I don’t have time for that. What if you took the time to learn some new skills, to be proactive, to learn some new life skills, model those for your children, and influence them to use those life skills for themselves?
See, all of this is about problem solving, and dealing with emotions that these little people are not used to dealing with. So you take these emotions, and these needs, and you put those together, and that equals what seems to be misbehavior. But really it’s just an unfulfilled need, and we just need to get really good at redirecting that. The more you can do to prepare yourself with some tools that can help to redirect that behavior, and fulfill the need, not only does the behavior stop in the moments that it’s happening, it starts to prevent it to the point where it doesn’t happen at all.
Michelle: Wow, that’s amazing. And I love how you compare parenting to pro athletes. The same sort of training involved. I love it. And so now we’ve gotten onto the second step. So that’s great. Now we know the three reasons, that the behavior happens in the first place. Now you can get into a little bit more about the four hidden agendas.
Here is what the hidden agenda looks like. You’ve collaborated this amazing, sheet for us to make it so simple, and easy to follow. So can you just kind of explain, the four hidden agendas, and how we navigate ourselves through this?
Chuck: Yes, the second part of this is to identify the correct hidden agenda that’s the real cause of the bad behavior, or what seems to be bad behavior. And what I mean by that is that they are not really intending to misbehave. It’s just that there’s this need that they have, or some feelings that they have. What they’re doing right now is the best that they can do, or could come up with in that moment to fulfill it.
The first hidden agenda is attention. So when behavior happens for attention, their goal, or their hidden agenda, or their unfulfilled need is to get your attention. Maybe you’ve been really busy doing other things and there hasn’t been a lot of time for connection, to be involved together. And sometimes out of convenience, we just need them to go, and play by themselves, or you know, be involved in something independently. What happens is that attention fuel tank starts to run on empty, and they are going to start to try to get your attention. If they’re craving attention, they’re going to get it any way possible, whether it be positive, or negative, because it’s the unfulfilled need. Only fulfilling that need, giving them some attention, positive, or negative, is going to fulfill that need.
The second hidden agenda could be power. Power happens when a child maybe feels like they don’t have any control over their lives. Maybe they haven’t been given very many choices, and they’re just simply tired of being told what to do. They want to feel like they’re in control. They want to feel powerful. And so with power, no amount of yelling at them is going to make this go away. In fact, it’s only going to make it worse. With power, what we have to do is speak to them in a way that makes them feel powerful, that makes them feel like they’re part of the decision making process, and that they’re perhaps part of the team and they get to choose. The power of choice is what really diffuses power struggles.
The third one is revenge. And revenge happens when the child feels hurt. Maybe you’ve wronged them, or they feel you wronged them. Maybe not in your mind, but in their mind you’ve wronged them, or someone has. Maybe it’s sibling, or some other situation, and they’re hurting inside. The way they’re dealing with that is to hurt others the way they feel hurt. So when we notice that it’s revenge, or a pattern of revenge, or that it’s happening, because of this, the way to deal with this is to heal the hurt. We have to learn to heal the hurt, and to make amends possibly, and to rebuild trust, get them feeling good about themselves again. When they feel good about themselves again, then their pattern of revenge will stop.
The fourth one is inadequacy. And for whatever reason in that moment they just don’t feel up to the task. Even though it may be something you know that they know how to do, in that moment, maybe they’re tired, or hungry. Maybe they just forgot, or they’re worried about something else. But it’s showing up as inadequacy, because they’re not able to move forward. In these moments, it’s like, forget it, I’ll do it myself type of thing. And when you find yourself doing that, it’s probably happening because of inadequacy. You can’t yell at them. It’s going to send them deeper into this. You can’t give them choice, because they won’t choose. The only thing you can do here is to start to guide them, break things down into small steps, avoid criticizing, and go to the encouragement cheerleader mode. And that’s really going to help lift them out of that.
The key to dealing with behavior, is we don’t need a thousand different solutions for any parenting problem, or behavior problem that happens. We really only need to understand these four main reasons. And when we get really good at identifying the reasons, and responding in the most appropriate way, the behavior gets better.
Michelle: Wow, these are amazing. I hope everyone gets their hands on this. I know at the end of our talk today we’re going to tell you how you can get your hands on this as a PDF download. It’s such a useful tool. With this tool what is the process for our parenting now?
Chuck: I suggest that everybody takes this chart, print it out, and put it up on their wall. It’s going to take some practice. I highly recommend giving yourself, you know, a 30 day time period to really try this out, and to practice it, and get good at it. It’s like any other skill. We talked about the professional athletes developing their skills. Well as parents we have to develop our skills for the big game, and the process is very simple.
We can start to use our own emotions, what’s really going on inside of us as the first clue. It’s kind of an emotional compass, right? And what does a compass do? It helps point you north, south, east, or west. Well, in this case, the emotional compass will point us to, whether it is attention, power, revenge, or inadequacy? And based on what’s happening for you, and some of the reactions that are happening in the child, you’re going to be able to use that information to look it up on the chart, choose the most appropriate response, and then to respond accordingly, based upon the actual hidden agenda, or unfulfilled need.
Michelle: I bet the confidence in parents grows too. You know, you have something that works, and you know you have something that’s kind of like the key. I’m sure our confidence as parents grows as well, which is really neat. So that was step two in our three step roadmap to becoming an amazing parent, and helping deal with challenging behavior. And so step number three is the five simple steps for solving any parenting problem that seems unsolvable. So can you walk us through what these are?
Chuck: When you’re armed with the four hidden agendas method, there’s really only five steps that you need to remember to be able to use the tool effectively. And step number one is just simply to take a moment to calm yourself down, calm your child down, calm the situation down. Because until everything calms down, it’s only going to get worse. You’re going to feel worse and you’re going to feel more frustrated. The child is not even going to listen to you, because you know they’re disconnected and triggered as well. We just need to take five, or ten minutes to calm the situation down. And from that calm place, we can start to think rationally again, and you can carry on a real conversation.
Then we can move into step number two, which is to check in to what’s really going on inside of you, what are you feeling, and experiencing? You want to take that time to understand why the behavior is happening. Look at your own emotions, look at your reactions and their reactions. You want to correctly identify the emotion.
Now with this, you have to start to develop a bit of an emotional vocabulary. It’s got to move beyond, I’m frustrated, or I’m angry. In the workshops we often talk about those being umbrella words that actually describe a whole range of different emotions. So what is it specifically? Is it annoyed? Is it despair? Is it hopelessness? Is it fear? Is it inadequacy? What is the specific emotion that you’re feeling?
Have you ever sat beside someone who’s having emotion, and you start to feel what they’re feeling? And that’s because we’re always radiating emotions. When our children are misbehaving, or having an emotional response, we’re going to start to have that response as well. It’s like little radio waves, and we kind of start to feel what everyone around us is feeling. That is why you’d want to just simply stop, check into what is it that you are feeling, how is it that you find yourself reacting? Then compare that to how they seem to be feeling, and reacting as well.
Then once you’ve identified that feeling, you can move on to step three, which is to look it up on the four hidden agendas chart. You want to choose the response that is fulfilling that secret need, or that hidden agenda. You want to identify the correct hidden agenda as accurately as possible. It could take a little bit of practice, some time possibly even some training, would be worthwhile getting, so that you can really prepare yourself, and get good at identifying the hidden agenda, and then how to respond appropriately, based on what the hidden agenda is.
If it’s attention, what can you do that fulfills the need for attention? If it’s power, what can you do that fulfills that need for power? If it’s revenge, what can you do to help them repair the hurt that is causing the revenge? And if it’s inadequacy, what can you do to help build up their confidence, and get them to move through it? Choose the most appropriate response, based on the actual hidden agenda.
Step number four is to respond in a way that is both firm in your expectations but, and also delivered with kindness. One of my favorite ways to do this from the Blissful Parenting program is the, “I love you, and…” communication template. In the program, we have lots of different communication templates. When you learn to use these, they just start to roll off your tongue after awhile. They’re super effective and easy to learn.
I love you, and we’re having chicken for dinner tonight. And if you would like to help me make dinner tomorrow, maybe we can make something that’s more of your favorite. I love you, and your one hour video game time is up for the day. And so if you don’t want this to affect your next video game time, you’ll shut the computer down now, right? I love you, and the expectation is that you’ll clean up your room, and after you do that, we’re going to go play in the park for a little while, whatever it is. It’s phrasing whatever your response is with “I love you, and…” here’s what we’re gonna do.
It really kind of gives you that framework to again, reinforce that you do care. This isn’t because you hate them. And at the same time you’re being firm in your expectations. So you want to really be conscious of how this is being delivered. When we do this, we don’t have to yell. We don’t have to bribe, we don’t have to punish, we don’t have to use timeouts. We don’t have to take things away. That right there will help not only the situation in that moment, but it will help to prevent the bad behavior from happening again.
That leads us to step number five. And that is we need to spend more time teaching, and training. And so as parents, we need to learn how to reclaim control over our busy schedules so that we can take more time out for connecting, training, teaching, guiding, and just plain being with. When we do that, the needs are being proactively met. When the needs are being proactively met, there is no reason to misbehave to try to get those needs met. And so you are going to find that after a while, the behaviors that you’ve been experiencing over, and over, and over, and over again, simply fade away. Things get on to a much more peaceful, and fulfilling time well spent with family.
Michelle: Wow, how exciting to have that on the horizon for parents, because I think that’s what everyone really wants. Peaceful, happy family times, and a Blissful Parenting experience really. I do have a question for you about step number one. In step number one, you were talking about calming down, do you suggest calming down physically with your child, like by holding them, or hugging them, or is it better to walk away, and calm down on your own? Is there one way, or another that works better for parents usually?
Chuck: A very common question that we get from parents is exactly how do I calm down? How do I calm the situation down? In the program we talk about having a positive time out. So I might say to the child in that moment, look, I want to talk to you about this but I feel very upset right now. I can see that you are upset also. I’m going to go and take 10 minutes for myself right now, and let’s just put this on pause for a moment. Then let’s come back and we’re going to address this.
So look, if they’re freaking out, you know, trying to force a hug on them, or trying to calm them down by telling them to calm down, it’s not going to happen. Just walk away. Go and take five minutes to yourself. A very simple exercise that anyone can do is go lock yourself in the bedroom, or the bathroom, wherever you are going to get privacy for five, or 10 minutes. Close your eyes, take three deep breaths in, and out. Exhale really deeply just to start to calm down.
Then just mentally, and silently to yourself, start counting backwards from a hundred. Now this is going to seem silly the first time you do it. I was like, oh man, whatever. I’m not going to do this. Believe me, it did the first time this was recommended to me. And when I really embraced this, the first time that I actually did it, and I counted all the way from a hundred down to one, by the time you get to one, sometimes you can’t even remember what was making you angry in the first place. And so mission accomplished, you’re calm. They’ve had this time to themselves as well. They’re now calm, and now you can address the situation from a rational place.
Michelle: Wow, that’s great advice. I like that last tip there. That was awesome. So now we have our tools. We have some idea of where the behavior comes from. We have some tools in our toolbox now to help direct us. Now what’s the next steps for parents? What do you suggest we do to learn… Well, first of all, let’s tell the audience how to get this chart, so that they can print it out and put it on their fridge, and start learning how to use the chart. Then what should we do after that?
Chuck: Now that you’re armed with the knowledge of the four hidden agendas method, and the five steps to solving behavior challenges, you now have this new awareness. It also takes some time, and some practice to really get good at it. Like any new skill, it’s going to feel a little awkward at first, and that’s normal. And so you want to give yourself a 30 day commitment to learning this new method. You also want to get yourself some additional training. I highly recommend a couple of things.
Number one is you want to print out a copy of the behavior chart. You can get one by going to www.blissfulparenting.com/worksheet, and it’s got some instructions there.It has a copy of the four hidden agendas behavior chart, which is my gift to you. It also has a fill in the blanks worksheet. Take that worksheet, and register for one of my free Blissful Parenting workshops, that are happening online all the time.
During the workshop we’re going to work on some scenarios, and actually practice this a little bit, so that you can start to use it on a regular basis, to where it starts to become part of your autopilot. After a while, you won’t even have to think about it anymore, because it is a new skill that you’ve developed. So you want to print out a copy of the chart, and the worksheet, and then join in in one of our free Blissful Parenting workshops, get the training, and the practice, so that you can start to use this whenever behavior happens in your family.
Michelle: That’s great Chuck, thank you so much for being on the show today. Thank you for your expertise, your knowledge, and your gift of this amazing tool that we can use in our own personal lives, with our families and to start seeing a change in our children’s behavior. Thanks for being on the show today Chuck, and we hope you have a great day. Once again, everyone go to www.BlissfulParenting.com/worksheet, download and print it out, and put it on your fridge.
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